Death, Loss and Grief

Death. It either strikes fear in one's heart, or coaxes longing from it. Mostly the first, though. Myself, I am in two minds about death. If it's happening to people around me, it scares me. But if it's happening to me, I'm kid of looking forward to it. Not that I'm suicidal or anything. But I'd like to see what comes next, and of course be re-united with those who've left. The thing about death is the finality of it. You only go there once and there's no coming back. That can be good or bad. Jim Morrison once said "Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, all the pain is over.". Of course, it's not strictly true. Sure, your pain is gone, but not the pain of those around you. Which is why, when it comes to death, I'd rather it were me than someone I knew.

Death of course, is the reason for loss. Loss is something almost indescribably, but I'll try my best. Losing someone is a strange experience. When it happens, you're numb. you know they're dead, but it doesn't quite sink in. Then, slowly, but surely, realization dawns. The realization that they're really gone. That they're not coming back. it's awful. It's like losing a part of you. That part is now empty, possibly never to be filled again.


But truly, when one really realizes that they're really not coming back, is when grief sets in. And grief is even worse than loss. It comes in all forms. Denial, anger, sadness, guilt, frustration. And, sadly, it extends for an indefinite period of time. In that time, you realize that they're gone, mourn them , miss them, blame them, blame others, blame yourself and possibly come to terms with the fact that they're not coming back. But grief too, comes to an end. Yes, we mourn and reminisce, but in the end, it's over. For some. For some of us, it's never really over. Grieving continues for what seems like ever. And acceptance doesn't even make an appearance.


M*